pacaran islami, pernikahan islami pacaran islami, pernikahan islami pacaran islami, pernikahan islami pacaran islami, pernikahan islami
Pernikahan, suatu peristiwa fitrah, fiqyah, dakwah, tarbiyah, sosial dan budaya
  Halaman Depan
  Buku Nikah
  Proposal Nikah
  Referensi Nikah
  Buletin Nikah
  Busana Nikah
  Pacaran Islami ?
  Buku Tamu
  Tentang Saya

Promosi

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Versi cetak - Dibaca 18715 kali

Suami Memperhatikan Wanita Lain

Karya : Rr Anita Widayanti

 

tentang-pernikahan.com - Assalaamu'alaikum Wr. Wb.

Ibu Anita, saya seorang ibu rumahtangga juga seorang PNS, saat ini saya ada masalah dengan suami saya. Beberapa waktu yang lalu saya dengan tidak sengaja mengetahui suami saya mempunyai hubungan pribadi dengan seorang wanita teman bisnisnya, setelah beberapa kali ketahuan baru suami mau menceritakan, suami hanya ingin menolong wanita tersebut sembuh dari depresi berat, akibat hubungan yang kurang baik dengan suaminya.

Pada awalnya saya bisa mengerti dan ingin dikenalkan agar saya juga dapat membantunya, tapi suami saya masih belum mau melakukannya dengan alasan belum waktunya, karena saya ingin semuanya jelas dan terbuka. Ternyata di belakang saya secara diam-diam mereka saling memperhatikan walaupun lewat SMS dan telpon (HP), bahkan beberapa kali mereka pernah bertemu pada jam kantor, di mana wanita tersebut ingin diantar untuk kepeluannya. Alasan suami adalah ingin menyenangkan hatinya supaya cepatsembuh.

Kadang saya merasa risih melihat suami setiap hari melayani SMS dan telponnya dari pagi bangun tidur sampai malam menjelang tidurpun masih berkomunikasi. Memang sikap suami tidak berubah, tapi sebagai istri saya merasa cemburu melihat hal itu setiap hari, saya sudah menasehati dan mengingatkan suami, tapi dia kurang peduli, saya hanya bisa berdo'a danpasrah pada Allah.

Yang ingin saya tanyakan, bagaimana hukumnya menurut Islam tentang hubungan mereka, apakah temasuk zina hati? Bagaimana saya harus bersikap dan menghadapi masalah ini, karena perasaan saya merasa tertekan.

Wassalaam,
Lilis Retnaningsih

jawaban:

Assalammu'alaikum wr. wb.

Ibu lilis yang penyabar,

Nampaknya, hati ibu sedang terbakar rasa cemburu atas perhatian suami padawanita lain. Dan nampaknya suami ibu juga sudah mengetahui hal tersebut, namun sayang segala teguran dan nasehat ibu tidak membuatnya merubah sikap. Wajar memang jika ibu merasa tertekan dan kesal dibuatnya. Meskipun suami menyatakan segala perhatian tersebut dimaksudkan hanya untuk menolong rekannya yang depresi, namun memperlakukannya secara intens layaknya seorang dokter memang dapat memberi efek samping yang membahayakan bagi semua pihak.

Seorang yang depresi memang membutuhkan hubungan yang intens dan pengertian yang dalam dari orang yang menanganinya. Itulah mengapa teman wanitanya tersebut demikian banyak menuntut perhatiannya sehingga suami ibu harus terus melayani sms, telpon darinya, sampai harus merelakan jam kantor ketika dibutuhkannya. Hanya dalam hal ini memang agak riskan jika suami ibu berperan sebagai "dokternya." Sebagaimana kita ketahui bahwa perhatian terus menerus pada lawan jenis memang rentan terhadap hubungan yang lebih serius. Apalagi bagi seseorang yang sedang dilanda depresi hatinya rentan untuk mudah bergantung sampai akhirnya jatuh hati pada orang yang menjadi "pahlawannya."

Oleh karena itu menurut saya merupakan hal yang wajar jika ibu kemudian menegurnya, bahkan kemudian ibupun menawarkan diri jika ibu bisa dilibatkan dalam membantunya. Itu sudah merupakan usaha yang baik dalam mengingatkan suami karena apa yang dilakukannya ibarat bermain api yang sangat mudah terbakar karena terlalu dekat dengan sumbernya.

Sewajarnya memang suami ibu tidak menangani sendiri kasus kawan wanitanya ini. Jika sudah demikian jauh menganggu privacy dan hubungan ibu dengannya,seharusnya ia menyarankan agar wanita tersebut mencari bantuan profesionaldalam menangani depresinya tersebut. Bantuan dari yang ahli jelas dapat mengobati dan menolongnya secara lebih tepat dan efektif.

Dan dalam Islampun tetap ada batasan dalam pergaulan antara laki-laki dan perempuan meskipun diniatkan untuk membantu. Jika hubungan suami dan rekannya tersebut demikian intens bahkan membuat janji pertemuan pribadi dan berkhalwat maka jelas sudah melanggar ketentuan dalam Islam. Dalam hal ini ibu memang punya hak untuk menyatakan perasaan "terganggunya" ibu atas kedekatan suami dengan wanita tersebut.

Melalui pembicaraan yang baik dengan suami, cobalah ibu sampaikan perasaanibu, memberikan alternatif solusi (untuk membawa wanita tersebut kepsikolog/psikiater) serta mengingatkan kembali akan rentannya hubungan denganlawan jenis yang bukan muhrim. Teruslah berusaha dengan cara yang baik, bersabar dan berdoa kepada Allah agar suami dijaga agar tidak melakukanhal-hal yang terlarang. Sabar ya bu, semoga kesabaran dan kedekatan ibudengan Allah akan membukakan jalan yang terbaik bagi permasalahan ibu. Amin.

Wassalammu'alaikum wr. wb.
Rr. Anita W.

Sumber : www.eramuslim.com


Komentar-komentar :

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menurut saya ceraikan saja suami anda

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ass.. ibu yg sabar yah... kita perlu tegas, tapi tidak berarti harus kasar!

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ass..sabar dan perlu ketegasan agar tidak berlarut sakit dan tetap khusnudhon, untuk memberi pilihan: pilih isteri atau teman. kalau sakit siapa yang tanda tangan persetujuan operasi/tindakan teman atau isteri? wass

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